If you're thinking of getting your lawn and garden ready for the fall colors, you might want to acquire some of these fine decorations.

Beloit College has just released their annual Mindset List.
"Members of the class of 2013 won't be surprised when they can charge a latté on their cell phone and curl up in the corner to read a textbook on an electronic screen. The migration of once independent media—radio, TV, videos and CDs—to the computer has never amazed them. They have grown up in a politically correct universe in which multi-culturalism has been a given. It is a world organized around globalization, with McDonald's everywhere on the planet. Carter and Reagan are as distant to them as Truman and Eisenhower were to their parents. Tattoos, once thought "lower class," are, to them, quite chic. Everybody knows the news before the evening news comes on."

There was a young lady named Bright
who could travel much faster than light
She went out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

Gas Powered La-Z-Boy At Oshkosh Flyin 2005 from Hafast on Vimeo.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, cars or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

Classical Hot Rodding involves taking various pieces of old junk and making something new and better out of it. Lately this has been confused with spending large fortunes to pay some automotive artist to build you something that looks like a race car that was molested by an easter egg.
Now it can be argued that the ugliest car of all time is the 2CV Citroen (the 2CV stands for two horsepower, coasting vigorously) and yet this fine English hot rodder has managed to turn a 2CV into something even uglier and yet with a distinct charm, all of its own.

Watch Robo Dog in Game Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada forTax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed. Now, we are trusting the economy of our Country and 850+ Billion Dollars to a pack of nit-wits who Couldn't make money running a whorehouse and selling booze.

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."
-
"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."
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"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
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"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
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"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
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"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."
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"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."
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"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.
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"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas ."
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"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."
-
"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
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"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."
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"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
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"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."
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"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."
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"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government."
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"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."
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"There is no sense going away anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."
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"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

If you are going to create a banner or poster to protest something, then it says a lot about your intelligence when you can't even spell.
One of my best teachers used to say, "Fools names and faces often appear in public places."
Thanks to Evan for the link.

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Carolina arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.'
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!'
As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed 'YES! YES! I WON! I WON!'
She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'
The other answered, 'I don't know... I thought you were watching.'

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named -- BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here's how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable) , each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.

BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin- points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOK markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK. You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable
Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS). Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.